


Exes and Ohhs

by HeartOfDreamer



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Romance, The Force Awakens, romcom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 20:45:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11585865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartOfDreamer/pseuds/HeartOfDreamer
Summary: A drunk general stumbles in an elevator.





	Exes and Ohhs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ElmiDol](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElmiDol/gifts).



Good days, they go by so quickly.

But today is NOT a good day.

After several clean ups in medical bay, and a view in the observation deck, twelve clogged systems in the lavatory across the _Finalizer_ , you finally returned your cleaning gear and cleaning unit, ready for your scheduled weekend. Very much deserved. You pulled off your utility belt and handed it to the inventory keeper of your department as he held out his hand to set it on the shelf behind him.

“Any plans? It’s your weekend, isn’t it?”

“Starting with a shower might not be so bad.” You joked. After your day, you’d need one. “Some people just really trash the place, you know?”

The young man laughed and it wasn’t unpleasant to hear his voice.

Just ask him! You tried to egg yourself on. It’d be so easy to try and strike up a conversation and just ask if he had a rough day, and if he did then maybe the two of you could go out and get something to eat? You made a face, unintentionally, as you tried to pull words together. The check-in guy was really attractive to you. He gave you butterflies, he made you smile, and occasionally, on your really tough days your burden was lessened by the though that you’d see him at the end of your shift; he’d be happy to see you and asking how your day went. You didn’t know his number, or what his friends called him. Whenever you tried to sneak a peak at his badge number, you risked the chance of him seeing you ogle him. Thus, he was forever to be dubbed the Check-In Guy. Or, as you preferred, Mr. Perfect.

And you couldn’t count on how many times you’d envisioned yourself asking him out or planning out what you’d talk about the next day, but as you jumbled in your mind what you wanted to say, how you could ask him out.

He gave you a screen for you to put your finger pad on as it logged you out for the day. As you handed it back to him, he locked eyes. “Have a good break, yea?”

So sweet. He was so, so sweet. And a very manly build. You caught it when he turned around again. Very, _very_ nice.

As you checked out, you walked down and took a lift to the recreational level.

You liked him. You did! However, you were very on guard with who you let in to your personal life these days. Not only that, he was someone you’d have to see everyday on the ship. What if things didn’t work out? And Mr. Perfect was someone you’d definitely want things to work out with. Maybe if you mentally prepared yourself beforehand.

The doors to the lift opened, but instead of steering right towards the night life, you turned left to imports. You were expecting a small reminder of home. It was delayed but you received a notification this morning that your package would arrive today. As you rounded the corner, you stopped as soon as the line stopped you. This was what had worried you. The line. The line you had to face getting your order was atrocious. You looked at the time, which was displayed on the wrist of the person infront of you and held back a groan. The cafeteria would be closed by the time you got there.

Looking around you couldn’t help but envy the people around you, everyone smart enough to bring their own entertainment. One person had even started to watch the news, broadcasting the latest gossip about which galactic stars were now newly available…again. Ah, the glamour of stardom.

The image of a busty blond came up on the screen as she answered questions about her latest conquest of love and lust. So scandalous. The owner of the screen moved to the side, leaving you unable to glean information about the star’s recent affair and you were spared the loss of brain activity. Though, you really wished your sense of time would have been dulled.

It took you more than two hours before you were able to reach the front, but you were able to acquire what you came for. Several people behind you weren’t so lucky, when the gentleman behind the counter paused the progress of the line to switch shifts.

Cradling the important package in your hand, you made your way back to the lift’s location and waited for it to come to your floor. After you stood there for a while, a small group had already begun to gather. They were loud, and boisterous, clearly having a good time. After a moment or two, you heard their louder speech patterns quiet, and you saw a few of them looking at you and whispering about themselves.

“Hey!” One girl, quite drunk as she draped herself over her partner couldn’t hold back her curiosity. “Aren’t you the one who had to clean up in level 3?”

“Oh!” You gripped the package tighter. “Yeah.”

“Sucks.”

“Mm-hmm.” You agreed politely. “But a job is a job.”

“Sucks!” She gestured to you and pounded her lover on the chest. “It’s sucks to be you.”

“Sh! That’s rude!” Her gentleman friend laughed. “She’s drunk, sorry.”

The sound of the lift touching down interrupted your response and the small crowd squeezed in. They took a moment to wait for you, but not in the mood to socialize, you let them go on ahead and decidedly waited for the next one.

“You clean poo!” Her voice rang out before the doors shut tight.

You sighed in relief as they disappeared and hoped the next one would be all to yourself. As soon as it opened, you looked up to the ceiling asking yourself what else could you have done to make the situation less awkward? Maybe you should have laughed? Or something. Asked about what they did? You sighed.

It made you feel so small.

You took a deep breath and stepped into the lift only to find your face making contact with the ground.

“Ow!” You pulled your hard cased package from under you and rubbed your cheekbones, knowing there’d be a bruise there tomorrow. “What the heck.” You turned to look at what your foot caught and froze at the sight in the corner.

There, with one leg sprawled across the floor, the other folded into himself was a man sitting slouched against the wall. Unconscious, with his hat drawn over his face.

Some people just couldn’t handle their liquor. You shook your head and held back a smile when they started to hum and sing. At least someone was enjoying themselves tonight. After a few silent moments, you pardoned yourself to hit the button associated with your floor. It was here, were you realized that the poor soul wasn’t singing, he was crying?

This alarmed you!

As you stepped back, you bent over to tap the man’s shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

He groaned and slumped over and his hat slipped from his head. Still making sounds of woe. You were going to tap his arm again, but this time he grabbed you by the shoulders and pulled you close to stare you in the eye!

“Why don’t you love me!”

HOLY SHIT!

With a glare like daggers, breath the smell of alcohol, grip like ice, was General Armitage Hux. You held your breath for, what felt like an eternity, and shook your head unsure of what to do next.

“I-I’m sorry?” You tugged away and hit the button for the next floor. Let someone else take care of this shit! Seeing you so desperate to get away must have angered him more, as he played out his next move.

He pulled something from his waist, oh fuck, you were going to get beaten to death by his belt! You cowered back against the door and shouted his title begging him to stay away.

Nothing happened, and you heard an odd clicking noise. From the parting and spaces between your shielding arms, you looked to see Hux trying to swipe his keycard through a slot and missing. After watching his attempt fail more than once, you cleared your throat and politely gestured to the object.

“May I?”

He swayed back and forth, trying to understand your question, then slowly, in his drunken state, put the card in your hand.

“It’s broken.” He muttered.

“Uh-huh.” You swiped it clean through the slots and a positive sounding noise let the lift’s precious human cargo know that it had received its instruction and clearance. The buttons on the lift all went from white to a distressing red. “Oh my gosh I broke it!”

While you were in a panic, the General seemed to be perfectly calm. Maybe it was the alcohol. He slumped back down against the wall and began mumbling.

“Sir?” You fiddled with your hands, “Sir, there’s something wrong with the lift.”

You looked at the buttons for a “help” or “Panic” option, but everything was just an angry red. A rumble from the outside told you that you were moving again though for every light that was lit on the control panel, not one of them was stopped for. You were moving and moving and moving, it was the longest ride of your life.

“Sir, there’s something wrong with the-”

The lift came to a holt and you froze as the doors opened.

“Ohhhh no.” You were so uncomfortable. There was good reason why the transport didn’t stop at any other floor, and there was reason why Hux had been so calm in a situation very peculiar. The card gave him clearance to enter his own personal quarters.

They weren’t lavish, but they definitely harbored more areas of comfort than a standard stormtrooper’s.

His bed was definitely not a twin, the area had a small kitchen set to the side and he had even placed a sitting area near an observatory window. Modest, and yet practical. On the other side was an open door that let to what you presumed was a bathroom.

You heard the Hux struggling and true to the sound, he was grunting as he made a huge effort to get to his feet. It was right before he gave up, he looked at you with such coldness, you felt yourself die for a second, only to be resurrected by his cursing and shouting.

“What the devil are you just _standing_ there for? Are you blind? Help me up, dammit!”

He was heavy! Forgetting yourself, you leaned back far, resulting in the man crashing into you and against the wall. What may have looked intimate, was far from it. He made a gagging expression which gave the notion he may get sick any moment. Once, twice, but the third time, he held whatever was coming up down, and dragged you along to use you as a support as he guided you to the bed.

“Sir,” You said a bit braver now, “This is _inappropriate_.”

“Use that tone against me again,” He hissed, “I’ll have you on your knees so fast-”

He gagged and you dropped him to avoid the projectile derived from alcohol abuse which never came.

“Shit. Sorry, uh, you tripped on the rug.” You gave the excuse knowing full well there was no rug. Luckily, Hux was too drunk to notice.

“I don’t take cheek from anyone!” He shouted.

“No, sir.” You agreed with him.

“Anyone!” He stated, louder.

“Yes, sir.”

You two fumbled around and with great effort, you both fell face forward on the bed, and you immediately unwrapped his arm and pulled away, running back to the lift but before you could get in, the thing shut. You pressed the button, but nothing happened. Was it being used now? Who the hell thought it’d be a good idea to access a room by lift? It’s so inconvenient!

No. That wasn’t it. You looked at the button. Key? Maybe you needed his card?

You looked at the bed where the man was…breathing.

Oh no.

Was he still breathing?

“Sir! Sir!” You ran up and pushed the man onto his back and tried looking for signs of life. “Sir! Are you alive? Please. Please PLEASE! Don’t die with me in the room!”

As you got close to the general, you leaned in, but just as you did his arm shot out and hit you on the face, busting a lip, you were sure, while the man rolled to his side.

Well! He was definitely alive. You grumbled, putting pressure on the pain.

“Why…”

You looked down at the basket case you were sharing a room with, with a bit of disdain, until he finished his sentence.

“Why…don’t you love me?”

Your eyes went wide like saucers realizing that this abuse, physical and mental ache was brought on through the one thing there was no expert answer too. Heartache.

His eyes were softer now, and held more pain than they did malice, talking to someone who wasn’t there. The eye that had no where to fix on suddenly turned to you, all signs of pain left and his expression became flat. As if you were of no importance, a stranger in his room, he sighed and closed his eyes again, sniffling.

Sniffling. Really?

Unsure of what to do, you started to pat his back.

“There…there…” You cautiously sat down on the bed, a good distance away from him.

He sniffed again.

“There, there, there.” You sighed and almost sobbed, looking at your only way of escape. It was too far.

He sniffed a long one this time and you grimaced.

“You stink.”

…

“What?”

“You smell!” He said angrily as he sat up. “You smell awful!”

Ouch!

“I just came from work.”

“Go shower.” He actually kicked you away and you fell off the bed. “You’re getting your smell all over.”

“I’m not gonna shower.”

“If you don’t, I’ll strip you of your title and have you demoted to sanitation!”

You opened your mouth to retort but then bit your lip. If you didn’t stop yourself you would have said something nasty. You _were_ sanitation. Asshole. Or, you hoped you would have been able to say something nasty, but words, usually when you were too distraught came out in a mess. A tangle, rather than a straight line. Sulkingly, you nodded and walked to his refresher, locking the door.

Did he really expect you to shower? Fat chance. You unzipped your jumpsuit halfway and tied the sleeves around your waist. You’d just settle for rinsing your face. Using the bottom part of your undershirt to wipe off the water you let the sink run as you watched the water go down into the drain.

It wasn’t apparent at first, but you had started to cry a bit and your tears were mixing with the water.  
What were you even doing here? Not here as in the bathroom of a general. Here, as in the First Order! You wanted to change the universe, but instead, you were cleaning up toilets, wiping throw-up of the floor, picking up trash. What a miserable existence. And now you were trapped in the bathroom of your commanding officer, the highest rank that was on the same level as Crylo, and the talking sliver bucket. You couldn’t remember her name.

And what kind of General gets completely shitfaced and then drags an employee to his room? You stiffened. Did he want to molest you? Your hand fumbled to your pockets and pulled out your defense stunner. Aiming it away from the water, you pushed the button and the end crackled, letting you know it’d be there if you needed it. You sighed and put it back where it belonged, counting the time that passed so you would know when you could leave.

Did 40 seconds count? You splashed water over your face and gave it a few pats before looking for a towel to wipe. Your and hovered over one that was hanging on a wrack but it failed to grab it. The second one looked promising too, but which one did he use for his pubes? Nope. You’d settle for your shirt instead.

It took all your effort, but you were able to hold out for a few more seconds and you heard him snore? Hux snored? Ha, how human. Maybe it was the alcohol. But if that wasn’t a good sign to escape, you didn’t know what was.

You turned off the lights in the room before setting out, and walked into the dark with arms spread out, fumbling towards the exit. Movement was slow and cautious, but you finally made it to what felt like the doors to your escape.  
“Button…” You smiled when you found the panel and pushed it, the button rewarded your diligence by answering you with a faint glow.

Finally.

What was supposed to be a sigh of relief turned into a short-lived scream as you felt hands wrap around your neck and you were slammed into the wall.

“What the _hell_ are you doing in my private quarters?”

The small light from the panel illuminated Hux’s enraged face and the life you lived flashed infront of your eyes. It looked so terrible! Oh my gosh you were going to die like a strangled whore in his room half dressed, and you’d probably be put into the garbage chute. Your dead and lifeless body would be floating around in space.

You did the only think you could think of with such limited time, you kicked him in the balls as the lift ding’d. As he groveled on the floor in mourning of his bruised fruit, and as if you remembered, you took out your stunner and zapped him! It really wasn’t necessary, but you had been so bent on using it, it was automatic that you should. You covered your face and furiously pounded on the close door buttons, screaming into your hat as the doors closed and you were transported far far away from the lovesick man.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't resist another Hux fic. Did anyone get a copy of the magazine with him kylo and phasma on the cover. I cried when I was too late to but them. But oh man. The stylist...I couldn't stop laughing.
> 
> This will be a fic with a bunch of ridiculous friendship/hate scenarios that were roaming in my mind. And definitely they'd pair up. Very silly nonsense I hope you'll all enjoy.


End file.
